In our society today, we have placed a great stress on being authentic. We have talked about placing a mask over the face of our REAL selves, and of playing roles which disguise our true and real selves. The implication is that somewhere, inside of you and inside of me, lurk our real selves. Supposedly, this real self is a static and formed reality. There are moments when this real self of mine shines out of me, and there are other moments when I feel compelled to camouflage my real self. There is perhaps some justification for this manner of speaking, but I think that it can be more misleading than helpful. There is no fixed, true and real person inside of you or me, precisely because being a person necessarily implies becoming a person, being in process. If I am anything as a person, it is what I...
Think
Judge
Feel
Value
Honor
Esteem
Love
Hate
Fear
Desire
Hope for
Believe in
And I am committed to.
These are the things that define my person, and they are constantly in process, in the process of change. Unless my mind and heart are hopelessly barricaded, all these things that define me as a person are forever changing. My person is not a little hard core inside of me. A little fully-formed statue that is real and authentic, permanent and fixed person rather implies a dynamic process. In other words, if you knew me yesterday, please don’t think that is the same person that you are meeting today. I have experience more of life, I have encountered new depths in those I love, I have suffered and prayed, and I am different. Please do not give me a batting average, fixed and irrevocable, because I am "in there" constantly, taking my swings at the opportunities of daily living. Approach me, then, with a sense of wonder, study my face and hands and voice for the signs of changed, for it is certain that I have change. But even if you recognize this, I may be somewhat afraid to tell you who I am. If I expose my nakedness as a person to you-do not make me feel shame. I can help you to accept and open yourself mostly by accepting and revealing myself to you. I am afraid to tell you who I am, because, if I tell you who I am, you may not like who I am, and it’s all that I have.
It reflects something of the imprisoning fears and self-doubt which cripple most of us and keep us from forward movement on the road to maturity, happiness, and true love. I have tried to describe something of the human scars and pains which block the way to true love. They are the same scars, the same inner fears and pains, which block the way to true self-communication, on which love is built. We do want to describe here something of how the scars and the defenses, which we use to protect ourselves from further vulnerability, tend to form patterns of action and reaction eventually become so self-deceptive that we forfeit all sense of identity and integrity. We act ROLES, wear MASKS, and play GAMES. None of us wants to be a fraud or to live a lie; none of us want to be a sham, a phony, but the fears that we experience and the risks that honest self-communication would involve seem so intense to us that seeking refuge in our roles, masks, and games becomes an almost natural reflex action. After awhile, it may even be quite difficult for us to distinguish between what we really are, at any given moment in our development as persons, and what we pose as being. It is such a universally human problem that we might justifiably call it human condition. It is at least, the condition in which most of us find ourselves and the point of our departure towards growth, integrity, and love.
It is impossible to overemphasize the immense need humans have to be really listened to, to be taken seriously, to be understood.
Modern psychology has brought it very much to our attention. At very heart of all psychotherapy is this type of relationship in which one can tell everything, just like a child will tell all to his mother.No one can develop freely in this world and find a full life without feeling understood by at least one person .....He who would see himself clearly must open up to a confidant freely chosen and worthy of trust.This is my writing about my thoughts and inspiration that I want to express to you
Value
Honor
Esteem
Love
Hate
Fear
Desire
Hope for
Believe in
And I am committed to.
These are the things that define my person, and they are constantly in process, in the process of change. Unless my mind and heart are hopelessly barricaded, all these things that define me as a person are forever changing. My person is not a little hard core inside of me. A little fully-formed statue that is real and authentic, permanent and fixed person rather implies a dynamic process. In other words, if you knew me yesterday, please don’t think that is the same person that you are meeting today. I have experience more of life, I have encountered new depths in those I love, I have suffered and prayed, and I am different. Please do not give me a batting average, fixed and irrevocable, because I am "in there" constantly, taking my swings at the opportunities of daily living. Approach me, then, with a sense of wonder, study my face and hands and voice for the signs of changed, for it is certain that I have change. But even if you recognize this, I may be somewhat afraid to tell you who I am. If I expose my nakedness as a person to you-do not make me feel shame. I can help you to accept and open yourself mostly by accepting and revealing myself to you. I am afraid to tell you who I am, because, if I tell you who I am, you may not like who I am, and it’s all that I have.
It reflects something of the imprisoning fears and self-doubt which cripple most of us and keep us from forward movement on the road to maturity, happiness, and true love. I have tried to describe something of the human scars and pains which block the way to true love. They are the same scars, the same inner fears and pains, which block the way to true self-communication, on which love is built. We do want to describe here something of how the scars and the defenses, which we use to protect ourselves from further vulnerability, tend to form patterns of action and reaction eventually become so self-deceptive that we forfeit all sense of identity and integrity. We act ROLES, wear MASKS, and play GAMES. None of us wants to be a fraud or to live a lie; none of us want to be a sham, a phony, but the fears that we experience and the risks that honest self-communication would involve seem so intense to us that seeking refuge in our roles, masks, and games becomes an almost natural reflex action. After awhile, it may even be quite difficult for us to distinguish between what we really are, at any given moment in our development as persons, and what we pose as being. It is such a universally human problem that we might justifiably call it human condition. It is at least, the condition in which most of us find ourselves and the point of our departure towards growth, integrity, and love.
It is impossible to overemphasize the immense need humans have to be really listened to, to be taken seriously, to be understood.
Modern psychology has brought it very much to our attention. At very heart of all psychotherapy is this type of relationship in which one can tell everything, just like a child will tell all to his mother.No one can develop freely in this world and find a full life without feeling understood by at least one person .....He who would see himself clearly must open up to a confidant freely chosen and worthy of trust.This is my writing about my thoughts and inspiration that I want to express to you
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